What’s up with that?

Last night on my way to bed I picked up the notebook I use for the examen, to write down my answers to the two questions “for what moment today are you the most grateful?” and “for what moment today are you the least grateful?”  Except I didn’t come to the questions that way.  I write down the answer to the “most grateful” question first, because that’s the way I saw the questions first written out and it just seems like the way it should be.  But almost every night, when I pick up my notebook, the thing on the tip of my tongue and the tip of my pen is the thing I am least grateful for.  Almost every single night, I have to consciously redirect myself toward considering what I am most grateful for, before I can write down the ready answer about what I am not grateful for.  Only if something spectacularly good happened during the day does the pattern reverse.

Seriously?  Am I so tuned to seeing life in negative terms?  Apparently so.  Which is a deflating thought, because I know being constantly negative is a serious handicap in living well and accomplishing something in life.

But see there?  SEE?  I just did it again.  Always with the negative.  What’s UP with that?

Whatever’s UP with it, I’d like it to be taken down and left behind.  How do you cultivate real gratitude and positivity? How do I reverse my impulse and learn to automatically think about what’s good?  That’s the question I’m pondering today.

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2 comments so far

  1. […] week I wrote some things about noticing how often I am negative, and also about how our methods of speech and thought can trip up even our best efforts toward […]

  2. Gifts « Stitches and Words on

    […] thinking about what it takes to change and the things I’d like to change, one of them the negative perspective on the world that shadows my days and sucks the joy out of many things. In order for change to […]


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