Thoughts from a notebook (2/16/2012 edition)

Quoted from my notebook, written this morning:

“Back again. This week is all topsy-turvy, with such a hard depressive turn at the beginning of it, and following after last week which was topsy-turvy too. I go back farther, and remember how busy the period before that was, and wonder if that busyness and loss of energy and overextension have anything to do with today [being topsy-turvy]; if I could have gotten back on an even kilter sooner, or if this is just how it was always going to be.

I thought, late last night or very early this morning, if my worst problem is not that I’m so bad at schedule and routine, but that I think of my relation to them as badness. How much regularity is actually good for me? If I could just accept my off days and depressive spells and weird schedule swings as they come, would it help me be less stressed and anxious overall? Would I find my way back to useful regularity sooner?”

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